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Thank you for sharing this Lyrane, I’ve read Lauren’s response as well. @lauren please comment on my experience if additional insights to be gained.
In mid January 2020 when Saturn and Pluto were conjunct in Capricorn, I experienced a relationship breakup with someone extremely karmic, I ignored red flags along the way but could not stop myself from advancing the relationship. He was a very angry and unhealed person and unleashed massive verbal abuse and projections onto me as it ended. I allowed him to unleash his fury, (could barely get a word in, knew his version of me was not me, and despite his rage I still cared about him)
My gift is hearing my transmissions that flow, but very shortly after I began to relentlessly be attacked day and night by voices telling me to harm/end myself, threatened to drain my finances, threatened to harm my loved ones. My headspace until meeting him had been for the most part peaceful, passive and never having experienced that type of darkness before. I had some dreams that seemed so real and frightening, and I awoke to weird experiences such as clock alarm going off to heavy metal threatening song lyrics, all things that were not normal for my life.
I thought I was being psychically attacked, and having no experience in this I enlisted the help of a friend who dealt with dark stuff, as well as another friend who gave me a bunch of commands. He said the guy was astral traveling into my home. We put up protection, but it did not resolve anything. The voices were more manageable during the day, but definitely worse, scary, fatiguing even more so at night.
This went on for 40 days total. I realized after the fact it was some form of initiation back into my power. The way it played out on that 40th night… I was so exhausted, at my “wits” end. I called upon Archangel Michael to stop it. It continued. I called upon Jesus to stop it. It continued. I called upon God to help, I even commanded in the name of God for it to stop. It continued. Finally I’d had enough if the name of God could not even stop it. I got up out of bed, and yelled at top of my lungs to get the “F out of my head, to get the F out of my house, and to get the F out of my life”. In that moment, the voices and the attack ended immediately.
My husband had died by suicide in 2006, and in August of 2020 four months after this experience, I unexpectedly received a 1-hour transmission about the subject of suicide, from a higher perspective which I’ve shared on my website since then, and I promote the transmission every so often for suicide prevention. Having gone through this dark night of the soul myself, gave me a perspective I never would have had, as I went from trauma, to awakening, to grief, to spirituality, I had somewhat of a naive attitude to only focus on light and unconditional love. I’d really not had dark experience before then, besides the grief of my husband’s death and as well as my own sadness/heaviness I seemed to carry related to the separation I felt from my own inner joy and purposeful fulfillment.
In April of 2023, I received a message from my higher self recommending a couple of tasks I could complete before Good Friday of Easter weekend that would free the generational trauma of my husband’s suicide for his lineage. (Free will tasks included finding his last letter, doing some written prayer soul acknowledgment through my own love and compassion, and burning the papers in a form of reverence/ceremony/release.) A few days later I heard the voice reminding me to complete the tasks in process by Good Friday, but now including the message this would heal suicide lineage in MY family as well. I was shocked, because I was not aware of this in my lineage. I agreed, but I wanted to make sure I heard that right, and asked for a sign I was hearing clearly.
Within the hour, my Mother knowing nothing about any of this, unexpectedly texted me a link to an obituary she had just found online… my great-great grandfather died in 1927 of suicide.
The even more stunning thing… both my husband, and my great-great grandfather died on March 3 of different years.
Fast forward to today, I had just posted THIS WEEKEND a blog article about their deaths, this 40 day dark night of soul I’d experienced, re-sharing the 1-hour transmission article, and talked about choice and power reclamation related to the topic of suicide, generational lineages, and shared the story of how I took my power back from the voices threatening me.
Personally reflecting on this over time, I wasn’t necessarily seeing myself as separate as I honestly don’t know if it was a psychic attack or if it was my own psyche, but regardless I had exerted my boundary that I know the voices was absolutely not the truth of me, that I would not harm myself, and that I was sovereign and did not have to accept what the voices were saying.
I had this exact conversation with a friend last night who read my blog post and asked me if I thought it was a psychic attack or if I thought it was something in myself that had arose to be purged, and having thought about it before, I had accepted the possibility maybe it was all me and not the ex-relationship that triggered it. I did hear though at the time him of the 2020 relationship that it went back to a past life origin of a shared mother from the light and a father from the dark, which we went with separate parents/choices but I will never really know for sure what roles I may have played historically then or even in the family dynamic we are linked together in.
I’ve felt a responsibility to share the 1-hour transmission I received on the subject of suicide if it can prevent others from taking their own lives, yet it is also a subject that seems to have chosen me, and not something I feel overly passionate about to be a spokesperson for. I make the information available if it helps someone and it has been frustrating to receive such a next level, important transmission in 2020, and I’ve seen little traction with it when I recommend it to others. I do think the frequency of the transmission and the prevention prayer that was given with it could be the space for a crack of light into a dark subject that can perform a miracle shift in perception.
Currently transit Pluto is squaring my natal Mars/Saturn conjunction, and is squaring my natal Jupiter that opposes my natal Mars/Saturn. I live with natal Pluto opposing my Sun, and Mars/Saturn opposing Jupiter, and natal Venus/Chiron conjunct opposing Uranus since I was born. I had already drafted another article on society collective verbal abuse, cancel culture on spirituality and related POWER dynamics for self-reflection, right before I saw the synchronicity for the timing of this thread. 💕🌟
