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MarieMemberFebruary 11, 2021 at 9:38 am
There’s SO much information and connecting dots in this forum that I didn’t know where to reply! I’m a bit late to responding, but have been following this thread from the beginning. Thank you to everyone sharing their insights. Maria, I appreciate your vulnerability in opening this discussion. I’ve been deep diving and assimilating some shocking and horrifying unveiling in my reality… which likewise has opened me up for greater realization and liberation.
But, like you, last week I was in the mire and confusion and just so.over.it…. feeling like “I can’t be doing this right” … but witnessing the shares here, particularly speaking to the dynamic of taking from the lower masculine that many of us came here to experience and heal, gave me a balm against the WTF is actually going on here.
so thank you.
My own puzzle pieces are coming together, as I recognize that I have been in a long thread of – like Nabila says – “mothering and nurturing” the lower masculine and waiting waiting waiting for them to see it too… that all the while I’ve been siphoning my power away.
It has taken a relationship with a master manipulator – of which I pulled myself out of with the light of the Leo moon – to see the extent of my first life “sacrifices”. I have felt battle weary and exhausted and confused and deeply deeply hurt. I have felt like I have been shattered beyond reckoning time and time again in the first life.
Yet, this time, is THE time – I feel and know it to my core. Watch out world, the divine Feminine warrior rises from the ashes – re-birthed.
And as for the divine masculine, I have in deep connection to him – within me – and have begun to feel the merging – a great protective and supportive presence WITHIN me.
I’ve always known that the union begins within – yet I had fully expected that I would experience this union simultaneously in my relationship. Each of us uniting with our internal divine counterpart as navigate the growth experience of ascension together.
I won’t pretend to understand the pull to masculine I’ve felt in my first life… I feel as though I never had a breather between navigating significant relationship – each pull feeling like “the one” a great spiritual connection and mission… that ultimately on the ground floor was incredibly abusive and toxic.
The multidimensional experience of ascension has been so confounding! And, I gotta say – truamatic AF 😵. But, I do feel that a great – THE great – healing has begun. I am thankful for what I have learned and how I have grown. But, I am even more THANKFUL that for the first time since I can remember, I am not entangled with any masculine but myself.