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I was very sexual most of my life (I am soon 53), and very much so as a child. (Order of the Rose, loud and proud now). I’ve only reached orgasm with three men, though (all three became my husbands ????). I’ve found myself dreaming of celibacy especially with the onset of menopause (now completed) and also boredom. Since going through my awakening (which feels like eons now), my sexuality and desires wish to be in tune with my husband and he’s not where I am at in my heart mind (and consciousness) so it’s a challenge. I’m an extremely sensual person and sometimes dream of being able to share that with my husband (or someone like Lenny Kravitz ????). So I guess the frustration has led me to dream of celibacy. Geez, that sounds sad… thank you for bringing this up! Looks like I am to go back to the drawing board! However, I am an artist so maybe this also fuels my creativity.
Ha! I’ve come back to edit this twice now because it has really got me thinking! I could always find pleasure alone but I remember being told that it was dirty so I may have become a little promiscuous. I remember living in Paris and walking down the street where the prostitutes were to go to my day job. I was fascinated by them. I could have never done that but I was intrigued. Another thing I’m realizing is that I was never one who needed toys to find pleasure. I tried but that felt fake to me.
Gosh you are really opening up some memories and insights within me! I wonder if something about this will be in the next report @lauren ??? Xoxoxo
4th edit!!! I have had many encounters while sleeping where I am gifted with deep orgasms. It has happened my whole life. Seems it comes when I “need” it or I get a lovely upgrade!
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