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NabilaMemberNovember 12, 2022 at 9:33 pm
@nicole-camilleri et al- I absolutely LOVE this discussion on alcohol. It’s been a thorn in my side all my life too. Not so much with family members and dysfunction (although I do see this with my sister and her husband and his family).
I have never been able to tolerate alcohol. I was never really drawn to it as a ‘fun’ thing. It felt the opposite of fun frankly as when I’d have the odd glass I’d feel terrible. It did the opposite of turn me into a party girl. It just used to feel fear and lack of resonance (with it and myself) which made me think it was not for me. My uni days saw me sit on the sidelines usually ending up as a chaperone and stabilising force to help friends and people get home safely or prevent them from doing ‘silly and dangerous’ things. I had a couple of episodes where I tried to drink that resulted in such dramatic sickness and distress that I was put off for life.
However, I was always intrigued as to how I was seen as the dysfunctional one because of my ‘inability’ to imbibe. Now I understand this as part of this inverted matrix programming and not a deficit in me.
I’m by no means a puritan on this issue but I really don’t have the biology? or the blueprint to tolerate it. My physical, emotional and spiritual sensitivity don’t allow it and wherever I see it being used, I always intuit that there is some kind of dysfunction/fear going on in those who seem to need it to have fun. I have also seen way too much fall out from people who use it to uplift themselves, avoid true feelings- get out of their bodies and the matrix- but it always ends badly or perpetuates and escalates their issues. It has always felt to me like a cunning trap.
I used to think something was wrong with me because I couldn’t even have or want a casual drink. There would be an outcast feeling that I would get. My sister in particular (who really should refrain as she is a Type 1 diabetic) and her husband would jibe me and ask me every 5 minutes if I wanted a drink, insinuating that I was the dysfunctional one. His whole family have addiction running rampant through their lineage that has wreaked havoc especially on young children, which is a serious trigger point for me and the more I declined the more the pressure and shaming I would receive. Luckily the anthropologist/ observer in me found this ‘fascinating’ rather than triggering.
I also knew I had to stay awake to the trap of seeing alcohol thru a lens of duality and judgement bad/good/wrong/right all the while knowing in my heart that our original organic templates are not built for this ‘block to the Light’. This has been my biggest challenge; to allow ALL expressions of being human without the need to ‘save’/rescue etc I can see this would be SO hard with a parent, as detaching from my sisters alcohol issues have been a huge grappling point for me. TBH it still upsets me. I have had to be very mindful of staying out of that loop recently. This is where compassion with equally strong boundaries seems to be the plat de jour lately.
Like you @nicole-camilleri and @xanthe I now can be in this world of alcohol but not of it to a greater degree. I too, when I choose (and I often decline invites that are booze centred because I do end up being peripheral and having to connect with something other than people), tend to be able to stay in my lane without it feeling too overwhelming or dissonant, but in truth I much prefer to find entertainment and joy in more nature based things and exploring creativity.
I am social but not a proverbial party girl, never have been. I like people but the right people and all in small doses. Baking a batch of scones or a cake and having a close friend over for tea in beautiful cups and a meaningful chat is more my ‘thing’ than drinks with friends. I love to host, to make people feel at ‘home’ but alcohol is never a primary part of this process.
I’m so glad this thread is getting some airtime. I do its more important than we might think it is in the embodiment of this 2.0 timeline/OS. I’m sensing that any substance that takes us to a state of consciousness that has not been ‘earned?” or really understood/experienced is a red herring and not part of authentic spiritual development. I feel this about hallucinogenics, mushrooms, weed etc too. Anyone else feel this? Or is this my false programmed puritanical aspect talking?