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I really appreciate your break down, Nabila. Thank you for sharing your thorough list with us.
The observation of the lower masculine expression within myself has been UP this year alongside the deep chasm between the masc and fem within. There have been cycles upon cycles of internal unity moments- followed up by yet another disillusionment cycle. Of course this has been reflected heavily in my external relationship paradigm. (And bod) It’s been a humbling year to say the least.
I’ve spent a lot of time thinking / feeling about union, analyzing my lower Masc… and trying to discern what is DM expression, what is the allowance of DF- where do I still express in lower feminine fashion? A lot of masculine over thinking/trying to control… and yeah- unconscious subtle feminine manipulation to try to get my needs met.
In the past few weeks the word “union” in its various forms has glaringly appeared in my orbit. And I continued to find myself over thinking about. Projecting into the future/ projecting on to (an)others
I have LITERALLY lost count of how many times I have moved in the past 7 years… but despite that I have carried with me, and put in my line of slight at each new location, a quote I wrote down at the beginning of what has proved an immensely arduous journey- always directly reflected in (toxic) romantic relations.
“Love is the transition from purpose to presence.
Freedom is witnessing the phenomenon of presence.” -mooji
For me maybe the most prominent awakening theme for me in this ascension journey is in the separation /partnership paradigm—- This quote has revealed various angles of meaning for me over the years.. and this morning, after a massive disillusionment giftie from the latest eclipse cycle- I woke and had THE MOST OBVIOUS realization.
Union is PRESENCE…. Something I have historically been avoidant to ????.
Obvi this isn’t the first time I’ve realized that presence is necessary… and yet at the same time have never understood how to actually be present…. I am learning… as the paradigm of productivity and over analysis falls away with the light of awareness on the machinations / tricks of the lower mind… that everything I have over complicated into siloed problems is completely resolved by the simple means of BEing here.
I know we have discussed and “known” about the importance of BEing before doing…. But I have LITERALLLY never FELT that I could access that consistent state until this morning. In that, the resistance (lower masc control) to trusting (DF) that BEing (union) is a safe place to BE… feels to have shed away. Hello willing/loving DM.
This feels like a significant paradigm shift and recall of power… where the mind and the body can finally (re)unite in the heart(presence).
Sure there is an integration and more cycles to come… but I’ll take this as a win.