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Hi Nabila! @nabilarc I am amazed similar has been happening for you — “powers” that be turning off or down, sometimes even done for you, in relationships. Yes, the experience of bizarre bitter sweetness…that is a kicker, has caused a little sadness, feeling of failure for months. It is hard to see that maybe I could have put my foot down more and sooner, created a SAFER world a long time ago.
“Realized this was how it always could have been if I’d only known…” And yet so much abuse, deprivation… I need to forgive myself. It was a scary lonely manipulative mess.
Yes, the voice is working!!! HaHA! it’s amazing! For me, no one is standing there to destroy it anymore. I am still unsure about standing up for me with family, but I am not stopped. I don’t what I should do, necessarily…..but with no survival mode, no victim identity now…. I am allowed to come up with what makes me feel better and try it and seeeee!!!😂😆😜 Like everybody else does!
I am also thinking/feeling multiple things I wish to enjoy again without darkness, shadow as you put it, interfering or distracting/deterring follow through… My physical energies are, it seems, shifting now, finally… I feel I can rise to the challenge. I sure hope!!! 😬🤗
Thank you for sharing.
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