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It’s very interesting that you feel/have felt your higher self is disappointed in you let alone kill you.
From my understanding that perspective is not part of the true higher self aspect as Lauren shared in another thread ⬇️
“but to be clear, your higher self would never demand or even desire an apology…you would only receive encouragement to embody and express more of your divinity’ ( from the gifts and abilities discussion)
My own experience of communication with my HS/source self is always one of compassion and kindness and understanding . It’s encouraging but not pushy , critical nor does it take score.
Just thought I’d respectfully share this.
💫